Thursday, March 6, 2008

The Irony of "Jesus Camp"

I finally did it, I sat through Jesus Camp; and, I must say, that it was every bit as disturbing as I thought it would be. The way contemporary evangelicals act and worship in the name of Jesus is utterly appalling, and will cause any thinking Christian to bristle with shame. Here however, I don’t intend to chronicle all the horrifying details of the twisted behavior and worship of these evangelicals exemplified in the movie. Instead, I want to point out the irony of the movie which is this: the producers of the film wanted to show how the “religious right” is indoctrinating young children and preparing them to be zealous foot soldiers in a political and cultural battle, while pretending that the liberals whose point of view they represent, do not do that.

The movie is framed by two separate radio announcements, one at the beginning and one at the end, pertaining to Supreme Court justices. The first refers to the resignation of Sandra Day O’Connor and the second refers to the approval of justice Sam Alito to take her place. These announcements provide the narrative context which teases out the underlying issue of the entire film: the political battle over abortion. Of course, the announcement concerning the justices emerges on account of the pivotal role they play in deciding the legality of abortion. Now, that being the key issue, the role of the political activism of the religious right in seeking to elect a president and other governement officials who appoint Supreme Court justices, emerges as the concern of the producers. The film then, focuses on how the “religious right” is indoctrinating young children to be soldiers in this conflict, and the principal focus becomes the “Kids on Fire Camp” and the ministry of Becky Fischer to illustrate the process.

So that is the big picture, now where is the irony?

The easiest way to get at the irony is to analyze a few of the editorial comments made by the radio host, sprinkled throughout the film, which focus on the “religious right” and their role in this political battle. For instance, he laments the fact that the political activism of the “religious right” sends a bad message to Christian children that it is appropriate and legitimate to intertwine religion and politics. He charges that Christian children are being taught that global warming and the rape of the environment doesn’t matter. He complains that through the agitation of his base, the religious right, President Bush is pushing the teaching of Creationism in public schools, along side of naturalistic evolution. He sounds the alarm, warning against relgious activism, as he notes that there is a “religious army of foot soldiers (those who have been indoctrinated as children) directed by a political right and they are taking control in small slices. They have taken control of the White House, congress and the judiciary.” Finally, in a segment toward the end, he interviews Becky Fischer, and in the context of arguing with her about the legitimacy of her indoctrination of young children says, “you have a right to teach kids anything but don’t let that bleed into the public sector.” These few comments adequately provide evidence for the axe the movie is trying to grind: Christian activists are indoctrinating Christian children about political issues, particularly abortion, global warming, and the origins of life, and it is dangerous to freedom and must be stopped.

Now, having read these statements of the radio host, who serves as the mouthpiece of the producers to articulate their political philosophy and concerns, I am sure you can seee the irony. He (they, the producers) are saying, “what an outrage, these Christians are teaching these kids ideas and concepts that are designed to effect their behavior and impact the political process!” Like the public education system has not been doing that in America for the last 80 years. I will never forget one of the most honest statements I heard from a liberal professor who taught a Political Science course I once took. He said, “the public education system in America is designed to teach children who the civil authorities are, and how to recognize the symbols of their office.” That is 100 percent correct, and that is indoctrination! The purpose of education is not to teach children who is in charge, it is to provide them with the tools so that they can learn how to think for themselves. However, once education becomes a government institution, it will always end up focusing on indoctrination rather than education because the state cannot separate its own interests from the task of imparting information.

So what is the state's interest that is being communicated through public education? Well, that is obvious, the state wants citizens who recognize government authority, fear and respect government authority, and who have been trained to think and act in predictable ways. The most effective way to accomplish that is to engraft children, from the earliest age possible, into an education system where the goals and interests of the state are constantly reinforced throughout their formative years of life. The primary value of the state that shapes the education system in America is that citizens are actually “resources,” not individual human beings made in the image of God possessing real dignity; therefore, the role of public education is to teach these “resources” how to behave properly, that is, respect the encroaching power of government without asking probing questions about constitutional authority, look to the governemnt for solutions to personal problems such as health care, day care, a job, etc., and to control the biological reproduction of the “resources.” To reinforce this last value, the the education system starts with sex education in Kindergarten and continues it through high school. The government hopes that the “resources” use appropriate birth control so as not to overproduce and thereby lead to greater government costs, but just in case the sex education doesn’t work, it affords the “resources” the “right to privacy” err, abortion in order to control population.

These are the “non-sectarian” political ideas that govern the perspective of the producers of “Jesus Camp.” The bone they have to pick with the religious activists is that they are competing with the liberal establishment which runs the government education system for the hearts, minds, and bodies of children. With the rise of Christian schools, and more particularly the home school movement, which the movie points out consists of evangelical Christians to the tune of 75 percent, the government monopoly on indoctrination (education) has been seriously challenged. That represents an enormous problem for liberals because if enough of these young people grow up to think for themselves, and in turn think of themselves as free individuals, and not government “resources” they just might challenge or overturn the status quo.

For these political liberals to tell tax-paying citizens, parents and religious groups that they don’t have the right to teach children a system of beliefs, morals, and actions if those views spill over into the political realm is utter hypocrisy. That is exactly what the liberal establishment has been doing for decades, and still continues to do. It has indoctrinated generations of children in establishment liberalism through government schools. Through the medium of film, “Jesus Camp” powerfully reminds us that ideas always impact behavior and eventually political systems. Denying this, and pretending that only “sectarian” groups indoctrinate children in order to influence public policy is dishonest and hypocritical, and that’s the irony of “Jesus Camp.”

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Was Moses on Dope?

Throughout my years as a college student and then as a grad student I came across many interesting if not fantastic explanations of difficult things found in the Bible. It seems that critical scholars will go to any lengths imaginable to explain away the supernatural in the scriptures. As I was doing to some net surfing here recently I came across an explanation of Moses on Mt. Sinai that really took the cake. In an article Moses was high on drugs: Israeli researcher, Benny Shanon, a professor of cognitive psychology at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, argued that, "Moses was on psychedelic drugs when he heard God deliver the Ten Commandments." Apparently, the bark from accacia trees can produce a strong hallucinogenic effect under the right conditions. Shanon thinks that this concoction accounts for the things Moses heard and saw(e.g. burning bush, which he thinks is another apparent hallucinogenic episode).

Why resort to such fantastic explanations? Well, the answer is obvious, we can't just take the Bible at face value. After all, it is wrong about so many things, right? Actually, no, it is not wrong on so many things, and it is not full of errors, and false statements. Critics used to say that the Bible, in the early chapters of Genesis, named cities and Mesopotamian kings that never existed, only to be proved wrong with the discovery of the Ebla tablets in the 1960's. We used to be told that the walls of Jericho could not have fallen outward, as the book of Joshua says, because an attacking army would naturally batter the walls until they fell inward (even though Joshua specifically says Israel didn't touch the walls), until the 1990's, when renowned archeologist Kathleen Kenyon proved that available evidence suggests they fell outward. Many other instances of critics attempting to explain away the facts of the Bible only to be later disproved by hard evidence could be cited, but it is unnecessary to do this. The Bible is reliable, as Nelson Glueck (renowned Jewish archaeologist) once said, “it may be stated categorically that no archeological discovery has ever controverted a biblical reference.”

Just because Prof. Shanon got lit up on psychodelic drugs once doesn't mean Moses did, at least not on Mt. Sanai. This kind of unfounded speculation leads one to ask, "what will they come up with next? Moses was abducted by aliens? The 'burning bush' episode took place on Tralfamadore?" I think Prof. Shanon better stick to studying the behavior of white rats rather than interpreting the Bible if reading his own experiences into the text is all he knows how to do.
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=080304120710.ad7gm7i6&show_article=1

Okay, I Was Wrong About Henderson

Well, I was way wrong about that Henderson-Sylva fight. I told my sons that I was predicting a decision in favor of Henderson, but that it would still be a good fight. My son looked at me and said, "wrong, it will be Sylva in the 2nd round!" It turns out, he was right and I was wrong. The first round went exactly how I had predicted. There was a feeling out process, some punches and kicks, and then a takedown by Henderson and he held Sylva down, and dirty boxed him until the end of the round. At that point, I felt pretty smug about my prediction, and I was not prepared for what happened next. Sylva opened things up in that 2nd round and showed everyone why he is the most dangerous fighter in the world. He threw vicious knees, elbows and kicks, and then unveiled a world class ground game to finish off Henderson, who is an extremely savvy ground fighter. The big question left in my mind as I finished watching the fight, was, who in the world can match up with this guy? Maybe Dana will have to send someone else down from the light heavies to take this guy out, or, maybe he will have to lure "the Natural" back to Octagon with the promise of a huge pay-day if he steps in the ring with this guy. Hats off to Sylva though, he is great fighter, and he exhibits such class in victory, that you can't help but admire him both as a man and a fighter.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

UFC 82 Prediction

Okay, tonight is the Dan Henderson vs. Anderson Sylva middleweight fight that serious fans have been anticipating for a while. I think this is going to be a real barn burner of a fight. No one can deny the Mauy Thai skills of Sylva. This guys’ clinch is phenomenal and it helps serve up those devastating knee strikes. And outside of the clinch, who else in MMA today can deliver such pinpoint strikes? Anderson Sylva is an incredible fighter and an incredible athlete. So, with this build-up you might think I am calling the fight for Sylva, but not so fast. As much as I think he is a dominant fighter, I am actually leaning toward Henderson in this one. Watching him stand toe-to-toe with Rampage Jackson showed the toughness and savvy of this fighter. His ability to tie up and “dirty box” is top notch. Beside that, he is extremely dominant on the ground. Now, Sylva has very solid ground game, but it is certainly not at the level of Henderson’s. So here is how I think this fight goes. Sylva stalks Henderson for the first round and tries to work that clinch and lay his gloves on Henderson. I think Henderson will keep moving and wait to set up his shots. Eventually however, I think Henderson ties Sylva up, takes him to the ground, works strikes and keeps him down most of the fight. The end result I think is that Henderson walks away with a decision. So that is my prediction, in the mean time, we will wait and see. Enjoy the fights!

Monday, February 4, 2008

Lesnar Knee-Barred: Reflections on UFC 81

As the hulking figure Brock Lesnar stepped into the Octagon Saturday night to square off with veteran Frank Mir, the energy in the arena was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. Lesnar strolled into the Mandalay Bay arena with an aura of invincibility, while crowds greeted him with enthusiastic cheers and jeers. But the room went electric when Lesnar stripped off his shirt and unveiled his massive physique. Lesnar is so large that when he strolled into the Octagon, he made it look small! It seemed like even the crowd was stunned by the enormity of the man as he circled around the ring. His incredible size, intimidating stare, and palpable self-confidence seemed to send shockwaves through the arena. It wasn’t quite a modern day David-vs-Goliath battle, but with the hype and the energy created by the face off between the hulking Lesnar and the smaller Mir (6’3” and 255lbs.) it certainly had a similar feel to it. From all indications, it seemed like the deck was heavily stacked in Lesnar’s favor: the texters had him favored by a long shot to win, and the tale of the tape was certainly in his favor. Fortunately for Mir though, victory is not determined by, odds-makers, texters, press releases and media hype, or even the size and muscularity of a contestant, rather, victory is something that is earned after the opening bell rings.

As the fight opened up and Lesnar charged out to engage Mir, I must admit I was thoroughly impressed with Lesnar’s speed and agility. He easily flipped Mir over and put him on the ground, and then proceeded to reign down vicious blows on Mir’s head. I thought the fight might even be stopped within the first few seconds because the blows were so fast and furious. With those famed XXX sized hands, it looked like two jack-hammers were pounding away at Mir’s head. Then referee Steve Mazzagatti, temporarily stopped the momentum, calling a halt to the beating in order to deduct a point from Lesnar, who had inadvertently struck the back of Mir’s head. The fight resumed much as it had begun with Lesnar taking Mir to the ground and then hammering away again. But something happened. Maybe Lesnar grew too confident in his ability to ground and pound Mir to victory or Mir summoned some deep inner strength, but suddenly Mir grabbed Lesnar’s ankle and applied a knee bar to Lesnar so fast that if you had blinked for a moment you would have missed it. Suddenly Lesnar’s enormous hands, which had been hammering Mir’s face into the canvas, were now patting Mir on the behind as he tapped out in submission. Incredibly the 90-second whirlwind concluded with Mir as the victor.

After taking a day to digest the events of Saturday, I began to reflect on what happened and to ask what it all meant. Here are just a few of my thoughts about what we learned from the Lesnar-Mir showdown on Saturday night:

1. Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall (Prov. 16:18). Well, we didn’t learn that for the first time Saturday, but we did have it confirmed one more time as we witnessed the events surrounding the fight. I couldn’t help but cringe as I heard Lesnar talk in pre-fight interviews about how he was going to mop the floor with the whole heavy-weight division, and yet, he had only one fight under his belt. I am sure its just part of his shtick carried over from the WWE but the difference is, WWE is theatre and UFC is a real brawl. Lesnar’s demeanor in the pre-fight interviews as well as his larger than life persona projected in his march toward and then entry into the Octagon gushed with hubris. It all portrayed an air of inevitability. One couldn’t help but get the impression that Lesnar was marching into a coronation ceremony where the heavy-weight crown was going to be placed on his head, and he would be declared the unbeatable champion simply on account of showing up. What an amazing fall though. I don’t know if Lesnar is proud and arrogant. I don’t know if the whole thing was just a show for the fans. But, what I thought I saw was overweening pride. I thought I saw someone who looked like he believed the hype and press reviews, and believed in the air of inevitability. I wonder if that didn’t ultimately sink so far into his head that he lost sight of the fact that he was fighting a dangerous, veteran, professional fighter who had the skills and experience to hand him a humbling defeat. It seems to me that a lesson is to be learned here: don’t believe the hype about yourself. One of the first rules of martial arts that I learned years ago and have tried to always respect is that you must never underestimate an opponent or overestimate yourself. When pride leads a fighter to violate that rule, too often, bad things happen.

2. UFC fighters are bona fide professionals. I realize this is an obvious point, but I don’t think people appreciate it enough. It’s hard to figure out just why that is so. Perhaps its because guys all have pride and egos, and no guy wants to admit that some other guy can kick his ass. It just goes against the male wiring to be honest about that. Many of us want to think that we are the next Rocky just waiting for the big break. I have seen this many times in gyms where I have trained. A guy trains for a couple of months and declares that he is going to go pro. That is absurd. These guys who fight in the UFC and other top notch fighting organizations are serious athletes, with tremendous skills, who train 2-3 hours per day, every day. Training is all they do. Probably over 95% of the guys who roll in your local gym do not have the athletic capability or technical skills to compete at an elite, professional level. To think that you can do that after a few months or even a year of training is as about as foolish as thinking that because you like to play pick-up basketball a few times a week, that you can star in the NBA. Undoubtedly, in the case of Lesnar, he does have the athletic tools to compete at this level. Given his NCAA wrestling experience, his incredible physique, his love for training, and the coaches and team he has surrounded himself with, he will bring his game up to the UFC level eventually, but don’t look for it to happen overnight. It takes a ton of effort and a lot of years of hard training to acquire the technical proficiency to reach UFC level fighting ability. The UFC is no place for amateurs who are looking for a new challenge.

3. BJJ and submission grappling are on the rise again in the UFC. Notice that both of the heavyweight fights were won by submission, and that two other televised matches ended with submissions. Consider also, that in both of the victories, by Minotauro and Mir, they were both getting badly hammered by powerful strikes and yet were able to tip the balance toward victory through the use of submissions. I believe this bodes well for the UFC. It has troubled me somewhat that the UFC in recent years has been weighted more and more heavily toward striking. I know that striking is exciting, and that its what the fans want to see, but striking alone is not a complete fight game. The novelty of the UFC has always been that it’s a realistic way to establish who the best fighter is, not the best boxer, kick boxer, or even submission specialist; its supposed to be about who is the best fighter. I am excited to see a shifting of the balance back toward the grappling and submission specialists because it forces all competitors to keep sharpening every area of the game. I am also excited about it because it represents hope for the little guy. No less of a man that Prof. Jigoro Kano the founder of Judo, believed that leveling an uneven playing field was the genius and promise of a martial discipline such as Judo. He loved to promote the art of Judo by saying that a small man could beat a much larger man if he mastered the principle of kuzushi, and learned how to off-balance the larger opponent and use his mass and momentum to throw him, and then submit him. I believe that is what we saw in UFC 81. Two hulking men, got defeated by much smaller, but wily opponents who used superior technical skill and experience to triumph over brawn. That is awesome!

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Porn, Prostitutes, Strippers, Sex and Debt

No doubt at some point in your life, whether in school or in a job interview test, your comprehension of a particular subject or set of ideas was tested by requiring you to select the single item in a series of three or four or more that did not complete the pattern. If I were to ask you to select which item did not typically belong to the following series of items, sex, strippers, prostitutes, porn, and debt, most likely a high percentage of you would chose "debt" as the item that was dissimilar to the other four. If you selected "debt" however, you would have chosen incorrectly, since all five items seem now to be related. Let me explain.

A recent report from a British newspaper entitled One in four in debt blame sex establishes the connection between all of these ideas. This article states the shocking fact that "ONE in four people who contacted a debt helpline last year admitted that some of their financial problems were caused by spending money on sex." Those people who fall in the "one in four" category are predominantly men between the ages of 25-49, as the article states "Three-quarters of the people helped by the group who admitted spending money on sex were single men, with the rest either married men or women or single or separated women. The average age of people helped was 42." The two other most common reasons for debt that ranked first and second respectively above sex, were predictably, alcohol and drugs. Sex related debt reportedly, was not only on account of subscribing to internet porn sites, but also on account visiting brothels, strip clubs and paying high premiums for phone sex.

Without making it sound like I take any relish in the financial woes of these men, since it would be very uncharitable to delight in the financial ruin of others, I would like to point out the all too obvious fact that illicit behavior does indeed have serious consequences. In a previous post we pointed to the dangerous rise of STD's among 17-26 year olds in Los Angeles County, which is reaching near epidemic proportions, as an example of what happens when we dont follow natural law principles when it comes to sex. Here, I believe is just one more example of the ruin that comes from not following the 7th commandment which is a Biblical restatement of God's design for sexual intercourse embedded within natural law. I realize that a substantial portion of those who read such a statement will evaluate it as boorish, prudish, puritanical, and perhaps even repressed. But that won't deter me from stating the obvious: if you don't follow the 7th commandment and its prohibition against sex outside of monogomous heterosexual marriage you will end paying the price for it. This article on sex-related debt, the near STD epidemic and many other facts substantiate the claim.

Instead of fighting against the truth it is better, safer, and apparently financially expedient to acknowledge that though sex is an incredibly satisfying physical and emotional experience, just as alcohol, drugs, or food, it too is governed by natural law. Reason, prudence, and wisdom then, ought to be used to restrain your sexual appetite and admonish you to indulge your desires in the right place, in your bedroom with your spouse and not in strip club, brothel, website or over a phone line. Follow this principle and you will not only experience real satisfaction, but you just might enjoy the added benefit of being able pay your bills and keep a full bank account.

http://http//www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article713747.ece

Friday, January 18, 2008

Why Does My Conscience Bother Me?

Feeling guilt is a condition that is common to man and has been since the beginning of time. Guilt, is that feeling of shame, remorse, inner gnawing that just wont go away whether awake or asleep. Its an inner voice that wont be silenced. Guilt feelings are as one author puts it “an emotional reaction to our Inner Critic, proclaiming, "You have broken a rule and you should (not), must (not), or ought (not) behave like this. Guilt implies that you did something 'wrong'." If we are being honest about it, who doesn’t have to deal with that “inner critic” who says “you have done something wrong.” Guilt feelings are inside of every man.

Since it’s a universal experience common to men everywhere, its no surprise that it has been a common theme reflected upon by poets –songwriters –authors and artists from time immemorial. Who can forget the poignant image of a guilty conscience captured in Shakespeare’s tragic figure Lady Macbeth who frantically walked about trying to wash the blood stains off her hands – which in reality really weren’t there but were a projection of her sense of inner guilt. The writings of modern poets constitute almost a monument to the problem of guilt. And whether they view it from a religious or secular perspective they all seem to agree, as one writer puts it, “that the world is a guilty world. Not a naughty world, or a bad world, but a guilty one.” This problem has also captivated the attention of the lyricist. Numerous songs muse upon the persistent, painful guilt feelings which we all wrestle with. A particularly gripping song entitled Penance Of Guilt by metal band Steel Prophet shines a brilliant light on the hypocrisy of modern men as they seek to suppress their guilt and attempt to salve their conscience. The song says:

Forgive them father for they have sinned Again and again
Pretending they know not what they do When you know they'll sin again
Many people going down for the ride
On pedestals of fame in filth they hide
Use mean words that cut like a knife
Stabbing the heart and draining the life
Lied and cheated on your spouse
Swore you never did
Your evil stay within your soul
From guilt you can’t be hid

That last line gets to the truth that I want you to think about --guilt feelings can’t be hid. They are there and they just wont go away. And when not dealt with, guilt saps joy and brings with it an awful range of human emotions from depression, to anxiety, to hostility, fear and a whole host of psychological disorders.

Guilt feelings – you and I have them –everyone around us has them – people in the world have always had them. But why? In ancient times guilt feelings were explained away as evil spirits inhabiting the soul, while in modern times they are explained away as negative emotions that we feel when we violate social customs. It is claimed that they occur when we realize that our inner desires conflict with what society has told us is proper conduct. The pioneer of modern psychology Sigmond Frued explained that guilt feelings are irrepressive feelings that have followed humans around since the dawn of civilization. According to Freud, the origin of guilt may be accounted for by an ancient story. The story is about a rebellious son who struck up a feud with his father, who was the head of a great tribe. That feud ended unfortunately with an act of murder. The rebellious son murdered his father, and that primal murder has haunted the human race's subconscious memory ever since. Perhaps Frued was on to something in this explanation that these guilt feelings originate in some primal transgression but what it doesn’t answer however is why did the first murderer feel guilt? After all, if men are the product of natural selection and a billions of years impersonal process where randomly colliding chemicals produced life as we know it, why should the guilt feelings of the primal murder haunt us today? Though psychologists have proposed many different answers they haven’t yet really provided a satisfying answer as to why we feel guilt.

Not only have the psychological sciences failed to provide a satisfying explanation for the origins of guilt feelings, they have not been able to provide adequate relief for them either. Paul Martin points out in a fascinating article entitled “Sin, Guilt and Mental Health: Confession and Restitution As Means of Therapy” that a whole range of psychological maladies which are the result of repressed guilt feelings have proven stubbornly resistant to therapy. Independent tests conducted years apart and multiple times over, reveal that professional therapy for numerous psychological disorders associated with guilt feelings have a surprisingly low success rate. Add to that, the fact that psychotropic medication offers no better success rates than other forms of therapy. Instead of medicine liberating the conscience it actually enslaves it, leaving many trapped in debilitating addiction to legally prescribed medication.


Whether we like it or not, whether we wish we could close our eyes and plug or ears and pretend it was otherwise, whether we attempt to numb the pain within us through drugs, alcohol, legal medication or any other thing that might temporarily distract us, guilt is still there. Guilt feelings are deep down inside every one of us and there is no place to go to ultimately hide from them. Therapy won’t work. Drugs won’t work. Ignoring it won’t work. Desensitizing your conscience to it won’t work. Your guilt won’t leave you alone and allow you any peace. But the questions persist: why do I feel this way and what can you do about it?


We experience these internal feelings because of sin. Sin is the reason for present pain and suffering. On account of sin God has put a curse upon the world and through that, the corrupting, infecting destructive, outworking of sin and its curse, mankind experiences sorrow, suffering, and physical trouble. Deep down inside our hearts we know that this is the real answer for why we are in trouble. One of the most obvious confirmations of this is the unease and guilt we feel internally. Guilt feelings on account of sin are constantly testifying to us that God is angry and displeased with our sins like a parent is with a child’s disobedience, and that relationship must be reconciled or we wont have any peace. But because we live in a state of stubborn rebellion against God, we refuse to accept that and attempt to deal with guilt by covering it up, ignoring it, or applying our own remedy. When we choose to act that way we end up riddled with guilt feelings because we have never resolved the tension deep within us which is, that we know we must be reconciled to God.

So if sin against God accounts for our trouble and our guilt feelings, then what is the solution? Well, fortunately, though psychologists have failed to answer this, and medicine has provided no real lasting relief, there is a solution: CONFESSION. That is right, soul cleansing confession. Its time to be honest with yourself, with the people around you, and most of all with God, and confess your sin. Confession is the only remedy because God is the problem. God is our judge when we sin because ultimately all our sins are against God. Our foolish pride however refuses to humbly admit that, so we fail to confess our sins in order to escape His wrath. But that doesn’t change the fact that confession is the solution.

The only question that remains is, what will you do? Will you continue to allow the tension to boil up inside you? Will you continue to hide your feelings under layers of denial? Will you pretend that these feelings are just an illusion? Will you continue to tell yourself God is not real and your inner pain owes to the bigotry of societal expectation that refuses to accept you for who you are and how you want to live? Or will you liberate your guilty conscience by confessing your sin to God. If you do the former your soul will experience no permanent rest, but if you do the latter, God promises He is faithful and just and will cleanse you from all unrighteousness through the blood of His Son.